Getting out of your comfort zone
Hello my friend! How are you doing this week? I hope you’re feeling zen as we prioritize ourselves this season, and only say yes to things that we have the energy and capacity for.
Last week I did just that — I spent Saturday vegging out and letting myself be lazy so I could binge watch My Unorthodox Life (I freaking LOVE that show). I already knew that would be the vibe because Friday was my work holiday party and it was SO much fun.
Sunday I wanted to organize a brunch with friends, but I knew once I was starting to feel overwhelmed about coordinating that I needed to be honest with myself and my friends. I really needed Sunday to finish up chores, start shopping for the few gifts I’m giving this year, and make some progress on the family memory book I’m working on… so I did something so simple and effective. I texted my friends that I had mentioned brunch to and just let them know straight up that I was feeling maxed out but would love to make other plans soon. I think we can all agree that we love when someone is just straight up with us and there’s no guessing… if you ever find yourself in a predicament like that, know that being honest about how you’re feeling and what you need is always a good move.
I guess that’s what you call a boundary, and for many of us sharing and upholding our boundaries can be a little uncomfortable. Which is a great Segway because today, we are going to talk about getting out of our comfort zone.
As 2022 comes to a close, let’s reflect back to something you’ve done this year where you’ve explored outside of your comfort zone… where did you lean into the unknown and fear and came out on the other side?
Let’s talk comfort zones and how to get out of them so we can A) create new experiences and opportunities for ourselves and B) witness for ourselves, all we’re truly capable of.
Story time:
The very first day of 2022 started with me getting out of my comfort zone in a mental and physical way. Not only was I committing to not drinking alcohol all January, but I had scheduled my first trip to Sauna House in Asheville with Dan.
Dan outside of Sauna House 1.1.22
Sitting in a steamy sauna isn’t necessarily uncomfortable for me, but at Sauna House you’re invited to take a cold shower and cold plunge after you’ve enjoyed the warm and cozy sauna for 10 or 15 minutes. It’s all part of the process, and the hot / cold / relax cycle is known to provide a LOT of health benefits (like building a stronger immune system, resetting your nervous system, and improving cardiovascular health). This was perfect because I was searching for a wellness reset after a holiday season full of gluttony and I had found my kick-off.
I knew this cold water would make me uncomfortable at the beginning of the process, well.. maybe throughout the entire process but nevertheless, I was eager to get a jump start on the healing process I was looking for, so (of course) I did it.
Slowly but surely, I was finding myself staying in the cold rinse and plunge longer and longer each cycle I went through. Each time I went through a cycle of withstanding the hot and the cold, I was able to relax - sip on my Peppermint tea - and feel more confident in myself and my abilities.
Now I know that sounds great and all but… but like..it’s a spa, how treacherous could it really be? Well my friend I will give you something a little more relatable and tangible.
This past September, I had an incredible opporunity to speak on a women’s panel for entrepreneurs. When Rachel, from The Beauty Boost and the host for the event asked if I’d be down - first, I smiled with delight and excitement that I was even asked! I knew deep down that I had been working really hard behind the scenes to become a life coach, to be more consistent and strategic with my content, and in general be more confident in myself. My second thought was, holy shit…why was I asked? I’m not a real entrepreneur. And here comes the spiraling.. I’m terrified of public speaking. What if they don’t like what I have to say? What if I forget how to breath and talk at the same time? I definitely don’t belong up there, I’m not even a certified coach yet.
Now, to level set, this is just the type of thing I was dreaming about when I decided to start life coach training - being someone that is engaged in a community of badass women and sharing my thoughts and experiences with others as a way to connect and inspire. Giving like… Brene Brown, ok? However - I was not where I needed to be yet in order to take on this opportunity. Or so I thought….
I asked Rachel to give me the weekend to think it over (we love a time extension in order to make a decision #yayboundaries), and graciously she said “of course”. As soon as I sent the message the first thing I thought of was my Mom. Something in my heart just knew she was giving me a celestial nudge to take on this exciting challenge and get out of my comfort zone. I knew if she was here this would have made her so thrilled and proud for me, we probably would’ve talked about how to best prepare and what would be cute to wear - she was always so good at that. She taught me all I know about making a great first impression, maybe that was just second nature being the true Southern Lady she was. I also knew that I didn’t want to regret passing up the opportunity, and I could at the very least learn from the experience.
Long story short - of course, I said yes and not only survived the experience BUT I’m glad I got out of my comfort zone. I learned a lot about myself.
Check out some photos from that experience below.
I realized that everyone that is successful was willing to be uncomfortable not only once, but many times.
Honestly - between that, sauna House, and taking life coaching classes my word of the year should’ve been “uncomfortable” instead of “magical” lol. I also think that’s why I’ve seen a lot of personal growth in myself and 2022 has been one of my favorite years. It just goes to show you that if I can do it, so can you!
You may be on the verge of a situation that would involve you getting out of your comfort zone.
Maybe you’re:
*Accepting a new job in a higher position than you were in before
*Moving to a city where you don’t know anyone
*Starting your own business and are still learning the ropes
*Attempting to start dating again after a long-term relationship
*Or even something as simple as taking initiative to say hello to someone at your gym
And you may be thinking:
*What if it doesn’t work out and I fail?
*What if people reject me and think I’m dumb?
*What if I don’t deserve to be in that position / space / community?
*What if no one cares about what I have to create / share / provide?
The feelings of uncertainty are valid because it’s new territory which is totally ok… and if we can shift our mindset and actions to better serve us, we will be able to go through it with a little less stress and more grace.
So what can we do!?
1 - Start small. Find a low risk action you can take, break each step down into the smallest step you can achieve, or even practice if that’s an option for the situation.
2 - Ask for support or help with accountability. Ask a loved one for support and find a mentor or coach to work with for accountability.
3 - Remember your Why? What is important to you about this situation? What do you hope this experience will change about your life? Ultimately, to get different results we have to do different things.
4 - Lean into the experience. Take deep breaths, become aware of your thoughts, bring attention back to your breath and witness yourself being immersed in the experience and making it through
5 - Learn / Grow / Repeat.
Let me just tell you right now….
YOU DESERVE TO RECEIVE AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES. THOSE EXPERIENCES ARE CRAVING YOU IN ALL THAT YOU ARE, AS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL.
WHAT YOU SAY AND DO MATTERS, YOU ARE APPRECIATED FOR IT.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO REACH PERFECTION IN ORDER TO START DOIN’ YOU.
WE WANNA SEE YOU TAKE UP SPACE.
NOT SURE YOU’RE INCLUDED IN THE COMMUNITY? BITCH YOU ARE THE COMMUNITY. WE NEED YOU.
QUIT DOWN PLAYING YOURSELF.
TRUST THE VALUE YOU BRING.
Tarot with Pep
*Ok Pep, send us off with a good one ok? What we got?
*ACE of Swords!!! Girrrrl, we got a giant-ass sword over here like in the sky with a gold crown and lush floral arrangement around it. This card signifies: Breakthroughs, new ideas, mental clarity, success!!! We already knew that honey, let’s get it! Biddy Tarot says “While this Ace is a sign of triumph, the jagged mountains in the background suggest that the road ahead will be challenging. You will need mental resilience to navigate this path.” Y’all I swear Pep must have a gift because these cards are always spot on. Bless ya Pep! Well y’all if you’re ever in need of extra support as you’re going for your goals, just know you can always tune in here for a virtual pick me up or message me about chatting it through together <3
Ok guys - thanks for being a part of this adventure. If you’re lovin’ Bad Luck Burden please do me a favor and share! You can find the podcast version of this episode here, and as always come find me on instagram @badluckburden.
Have a great week y’all <3 love you
