Creating balance and boundaries during the Holidays
What’s up y’all! Happy Wednesday, it’s been raining here ALL week and I’m in major hermit mode. Sweats for LIFE. I’ve also been doing a lot of brainstorming, strategizing and planning and cannot wait to get into January with some of the content I’m going to create for y’all.
That being said - sorry this is coming a little later in the day than usual but Welcome to this week’s episode where we try to find some damn balance and boundaries as we enter this holiday season! Can I get a ho ho ho?
Between holiday shopping, work parties, busy schedules, decadent treats, grief/loss, and maybe no hope for a Christmas bonus —- December can be a LOT.
I can’t speak for y’all, but the magic of Christmas for me has been steadily waning for years. I used to decorate the day after Thanksgiving, but not anymore — I mean have y’all seen the prices of Christmas Trees?! Plus, just look at the chaos that unfolds in most Christmas movies - I know they are pulling from real life examples lol. I mean hell, just being an adult post-2020 is enough for Christmas to feel like it’s lost some meaning.
BUT! I promise this episode is not all negative because I am bound and determined to make my own meaning of it this year.
This is the season where we keep seeing messaging around being “selfless” and give as much as we can, but in my mind all that really means is buy as much presents, treats and holiday decor as you can. And for me … that ain’t it. That just isn’t my financial priority this year, and I’m looking to find my Christmas magic outside of commercials and instagram ads.
Call me Scrooge, but I’M saying this is the time of year to be selfish! Treat yo’self! Let’s give ourselves permission to decide what Christmas means to us and to take care of #1 (aka you, aka baddie mcbadderson, aka the cutie that’s been doing it ALL all year round).
A few thoughts on this…
Number 1 - let’s shift the paradigm here, the holidays are not actually about buying, giving, and going nonstop… they’re about those sweet moments, extending a helping hand to those in need, and time spent with loved ones (including time with yourself). Let’s make this holiday what we need it to be.. whatever that means for us.
Number 2 - we’ve been doing shit all year long, and we are TIRED. We deserve to relax and prioritize good energy, good vibes, and good people. We deserve to prioritize what fills us up instead of drains us (including certain family members). Let’s take some time to marinade in our 2022 experience - like, what even happened this year? What were the wins? the challenges? The learnings? The memories? The areas of growth? We owe it to ourselves to look at all we’ve done for ourselves.
Number 3 - we have a big year ahead of us honey, an EXCITING TRANSFORMATIONAL year of *thriving*! There are a lot of things we want to do, experience, accomplish, and create in 2023 so now is a great time for us to slow down a little - reconnect with ourselves - and start daydreaming about what we want to welcome into our lives in the coming year
Hence the balance + boundaries - ya know?!
So let’s look at the 5 main life categories and things we can do to maintain our balance and boundaries as we close out this year.
SELF
Schedule down time for yourself, schedule a lil date or something (1 night a week or whatever works best for your energy style). I can tend to feel “guilty” for doing this - even throughout the year, but that’s exactly why I need to make a point to do it more. I need to make sure I have a full cup to pour from, so making that time for myself is crucial.
Similar to point 1 … no need to overbook yourself. I used to do this all.the.time! And I would drive myself nuts trying to fit everything in because I thought I wanted and could do it all… but I’ve learned time and time again that it’s never a good idea. You only have so much energy, protect that at all costs.
Have some grounding rituals for your morning and evening routines - lately I’ve been reading in bed 30 minutes before I go to sleep, it’s really helped me relax and prepare my mind for rest. In the AM’s, I like doing a little stretching (5 mins) just to connect my body with my brain. Throughout the day I love taking some deeeeep breaths the come back to self.
WELLNESS
Maintain as much of your active routine as you can. I like to schedule my 3-4 gym days before the beginning of a new week and prep my clothes so I have no reason to skip. Even if it’s 1-2 days a week it’ll help knowing you’ve kept some consistency.
Try to stick to your usual sleep schedule (going to bed at a similar time and waking up at a similar time each day during the week). This will help with your mood, energy, and even cravings.
Meal Prep your breakfasts and lunches to make your days more efficient and it ensures you’re getting some nutrients in when you’re not eating those holiday treats! I love a hardboiled egg and avocado toast for breakfast, and a veggie/protein bowl for lunch - I love using the pre-grilled chicken from TJ’s and making quick sheet pan veggies. Meal prep doesn’t have to take more than 15 minutes.
CAREER / DEV
Review any lingering tasks or small projects that you’d like to clear out before the new year
Make a list of all the accomplishments you’ve made at work this past year (I feel the need to say that you should do this during work hours), that way you will be prepared to ask for a raise next year
Remember to take off any remaining PTO if you have it!! Log out at 5 or at the end of your day!
CONNECTIONS
Donate to the shelters in your local community or volunteer your time. I’ve recently been stocking up on granola bars to put in my car so if I see someone in need of food/money I have something to give since I usually don’t have cash. I think toy drives are also great, just imagining restoring some Christmas cheer and magic for little ones is really meaningful and impactful.
For you family - Decide what boundaries you want to create for then as you visit or have guests. Maybe it’s the length of time for the visit, or what topics you’re not willing to discuss with them.
Make new traditions with your loved ones! Think about what could be fun for years to come.. you could even have traditions with friends, traditions with your family, and traditions with a SO, pet, or yourself!
FINANCES
Decide what your spending budget for gifts is and STICK TO IT. Seriously. As the Feds increase interests rates that means credit card interest can also increase so be mindful of that spending. Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean it’s a deal. I love the idea of sharing an experience together as a gift (dinner, Christmas lights, concert… ) because it’s a memory you’re making and doesn’t have to cost much. If it helps to prepare your loved ones for how much you plan to spend so they can buy for you accordingly, then do so!
I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to gift giving… I never think what I get will be “enough” so I end up overspending and buying several things to make sure it counts - but it’s time to stop. Our worth isn’t tied to the gifts we give to someone else.
Ok and last but not least - Tarot of the week with Pep!
He pulled a 6 of wands meaning - success, progress, public recognition and self confidence. Thanks Pep! So Again — all that hard work this year has paid off and it’s time for you to recognize your own successes!
For me, Christmas was always more special when I was able to share it with my Mom, but I do think about what the new traditions may be for me and how I can best take care of myself this season.
The holidays can be a very activating time for a lot of us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find that Christmas magic again.
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? I’d love to know!
